Learn How to Help Your Child Deal with Bullies in 2019Bullying is a major public health issue in America, largely affecting kids between the age of 10-14. Forty percent of middle-school students in the US were bullied during the 2017-2018 school year. And as much as we boast of our gradually progressive society, most cases originate from racial and homophobic discrimination. Both bullies and victims are at risk of anxiety, depression, delinquency, and drop-out- with suicide and mass shootings being the most tragic possibilities. While schools are being more proactive about bully-prevention, parental involvement proves most effective in stopping bullying during the early stages.
But How Does Bullying Look in 2019?
Bullying is defined as " mean, hurtful behavior that occurs repeatedly in a relationship with an imbalance of power or strength." When parents think of bullying, they usually picture the 'big kid' on the playground running after a group of squeamish nerds, but modern-day bullying is much more nuanced, taking on many shapes and forms.
You'll know how to help your child deal with bullies by learning about all four forms: physical, verbal, relational, and cyber.
- Physical bullying includes physical aggression or Physical bullying includes hitting, punching, pushing, kicking, or damaging of property.
Ex. A child gets pushed against the lockers for no reason.
- Verbal bullying uses cruel harsh words to target a victim. Verbal bullying includes name-calling, insults, teasing, threat s, or hate speech (racial, homophobic, religious, disabled).
Ex. A group of jocks calls a theatre kid a "punk."
- Relational/Social bullying is more underhanded. It's a cruel attempt to isolate someone from an accepted "group" or to demean their reputation in some Relational bullying includes spreading false rumors, mimicking/humiliating in front of others, dissuading others from befriending someone, planning nasty pranks, and damaging someone's reputation.
Ex. Two girls try to shun a Palestinian transfer student out of their friend group by
spreading rumors that she wants to bomb the school.
- Cyberbullying is done either out in the open or underhandedly- using digital platforms like messaging, email and social Cyberbullying includes spreading nasty gossip, sharing humiliating photo /videos, spreading hate speech, or emotionally intimidating content either directly to indirectly about someone via text, instant messaging, email, or social media.
Ex. During a slumber party, a group of girls take an inappropriate photo of a girl sleeping and share it with their entire class via Snapchat.
We hope that you'd know how to help your child deal with bullies before it becomes an issue. Try teaching your child these three tips!
Stay Connected and Supported
Bullies thrive on putting their victims in isolation mode. Even if your child has no current issues with bullies, reassure them that they are never alone and should never feel powerless. Tell them that if enemies arise, they can lean on loyal friends and supportive adults/teachers to have their backs.
Speak Up!
No kids want to be labeled a snitch or a tattle-tale. Teach your child the difference between speaking out injustice and speaking out just to spread gossip. Bullying and harassment should never be kept under wraps. Encourage your child to boldly, speak up for themselves if a bully confronts them. If the bully tries again, tell your child to inform a trusted, yet influential authority figure at school. Bullies often prey on kids who they know are too intimidated to speak up for themselves. If your kids establish a zero-tolerance reputation, they'll most likely repel the bullies.
Possess Confident, Assertive Body Language
Even as your child enters early elementary school years, teach them that non-verbal body language like looking away, blushing, or "shrinking" in stature are all cues that attract bullies. Coach your kids in exercising assertive communication. Using unemotional, direct language; strong eye contact; calm voice; confident posture; and addressing the bully by name are healthy cues that tell the bully that they are not intimidated and not to be trifled with.
What are your experiences with bullying as a parent? Have you already implemented these tips with your children? Comment below, we'd love to know!
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